An ode to the moments that make life bearable, (or an unusual appreciation for life and others.)
A personal look at making life more bearable, exploring four weirdly connected anecdotal thought-pieces.
Glimpse into personal joys, (or elusive moments that excites)
Sometimes it feels as though the only purpose of humanity is to do nothing and wander around. I, for one, have found in that wandering, a simple but unusual way of accepting life; appreciating things. While I say appreciate, I mean to reference to a certain peculiar but soulful feeling that you happen to catch. This feeling of appreciation arises only in certain moments, and it can fill you with joy or melancholy, but it is deeply personal and filling. A kind of elusive exercise; we cannot make it happen by will — like an epiphany, of gratitude and amusement it comes, and as a fleeting moment it fades — caressing our tender person-hood.
It does not have to be deeply meaningful. It can be something very trivial and mundane like — the familiar taste of cereal in the morning, or the smell of rain on a lazy day, or an eccentric behavior of a person only you notice. It can equally be something new — a certain scenery, listening to music while admiring nature often missed, finding a glimpse of recognition in a stranger’s eyes. Catching new and unique feelings; a sudden burst of realization in the midst a restless world that catapults you out of orbit, into the fantasy within you. These small nuggets of appreciations can make you realize something meaningful and important. They are like a window to an inner world that is uniquely yours; the way you see the world, based on your lived experiences.
Behind the restless urgency of the world, there lies a hidden beauty, when you put aside expectations or desires; to truly peer into these moments in a keen and still manner, you are flooded with these appreciations. It is but a matter of looking through an unfiltered lens; just you and the chaotic world as it unfolds. It is simply a way to break away from the tides imposed against you, and to cling to these moments — no matter how small and insignificant, it is purely just a part of yourself.
An affordable happiness
Don’t you hate it when happiness is put on a pedestal; as the ultimate end goal. And as part of modern society, everyone unanimously moves towards this inherited pursuit for attaining it. We are put on this long and averse journey to attain the ultimate goal, toil for it and chase it till the end. But I was always a bit skeptical and even confused by this universal thirst for attaining happiness. Everyone said —
You should do this, acquire this, follow this and then you’ll be happy.
And here all I thought was, “why not just be happy then?” Though this might sound nonsensical, this is what I felt; do there need be any checklist or preconditions to be met to be happy? If happiness is just like any other state of our mind; be it sad, joyous or angry — they all feel like momentary lapses that are more spontaneous rather than deliberate engagement.
Somewhere along the way pursuing happiness in itself became only an attempt at fulfilling the desire to become happy rather than actually being happy. And in some weird way the happiness we sought had little to do with actually being happy; chasing an eternal goal that was only an distorted image of its own nature.
We as a culture put far more emphasis on this concept; as something so positive and desirable that we forget that life has equally diverse experiences that are just as essential in being human. This aggrandizing and mystification of happiness severs it from our own grasp making it seem unattainable.
For me happiness always felt much more closer, much more personal. Whenever I’ve thought myself to be happy, it has never been by acquiring big achievements or being successful. Rather, it has been an array of simple events or activities that personally excite me — a walk on a good weather day with the company of your favorite songs, finding resonating stories, connecting to music on a first listen, reminiscing of past memories with friends. Small things that mean much more to me, reflects back a part of me and makes me just a tad bit glad to be here.
When you don’t want to be a particular way, or crave a certain state of being; but simply just be. I think that is what it means to be happy.
Whenever I look back at any day, having done things — reached at the end of a good novel, explored new music, seen a comfort movie or show, a good chat with people I care for; I just find myself thinking — that is all I ever need and I am happy.
Look through the window of other people’s soul, sometimes
In wandering from place to place, led only by our own compass; of a lone outlook, curiosity and desire to fit in, we are often left on our own. At an attempt to understand not only ourselves, but also the world that surrounds us, we reach towards a common ground that reflects our own spirit. Through deliberate mechanisms we attempt to paint a picture of reality; of something we can cling to — structures that binds us, art that grant us freedom, companion that resonates with us — we are stringed together to the microcosm of human existence.
Often we engage with the world through limited perception; from our own little window we try to piece together a whole picture of what the representation of world we inhabit means and where we sit within that picture. But this solitary introspection alone can never paint a whole picture — dissecting its representation only through limited pieces, always begets an incomplete image. Much like how single-shaped pieces of a puzzle can never come together to form a coherent and complete picture.
No single individual can exist within a vacuum, you are always inexplicably tied into the cluster of relationships, be it other people, wider society, or structures that influence your inner world. Each person is in some way shaped by their surrounding, but they also learn to shape themselves against it. They accumulate their own way of seeing the world, inhabiting it — values, beliefs and being that shape their unique window.
And in trying to peer through their window, into the world and into yourself too — we gain novel insights, about us, the world and the person. It is an introspective exercise in empathy, to be able to understand them, and yourself through them. Our perception is often distorted, especially when it comes to ourselves; we aren’t the best judge of us — but through converging perspectives we can peer into something that we couldn’t see about ourselves.
That accumulation of varying pieces come together from its cluster of individuals; a mosaic of smudges that weaves into a collective kaleidoscope of a true representation. It is this collective effort of consciousness itself, trying to discern and make sense of itself in the absurdity of its own inception.
Sharing a piece of yourself, (or these kindred spirits are bound to flock)
Have you ever felt gravitated towards a certain person? A certain irresistible flair about them, nothing in particular — but just an effortless connection to even the most trivial things they do. Almost like you have known them for years; with already present rapport and familiarity that is hard to shake. We all know the idea of a soulmate, and how it is considered so naive and completely unrealistic. But still we are often enchanted by a certain person, that we didn’t expect to encounter, as if all the moments fall into place and comes together in a serendipitous way, to deliver us into this magical setting that we didn’t even reach for.
With that person, conversations flow without trying, time doesn’t feel like its passing by, things to talk about feels endless. You happen to notice their smallest of mannerisms, catch yourself drifting away at their countenance, and even feel their influence to be looming on your head; everything you do becomes associated with a part of them. Almost as though the universe tuned both of you to the same frequency, and after years apart, you still somehow collided despite the distance between you.
Some people just have such an immense aura that is so harmonious with you that it sends ripple throughout your life. It impacts you to the core, changes the way you think, feel and even simply exist. The effect of having peered through her little window, into her own rich inner world; adopting that lens of seeing things for yourself. You almost see the world through new eyes, you feel things anew; a completely novel series of appreciation epiphanies hit you suddenly. The joys of noticing — small gestures between strangers or acquaintances, clouds splashed with much more vibrant colors, emotions in people’s expressions. Words take on new meaning, lyrics seems to cut right to heart, music seems to hypnotize you even more — even what makes her happy touches you; almost to the point of inheriting it. Its no more just a matter of seeing a part of yourself within her, but also taking on a piece of her within, and sharing a piece of yourself too.
That mutual understanding and acknowledgement is a fundamental part of the human condition, we are driven by this longing; to fit in and foster a sense of intimate bond and compassion. But our nature to share our world and whole way of being is only limited to people that are attuned; kindred spirits with a closeness and compatible companionship that mirrors us. When we open ourselves to others, and to the world — as we plainly wear our nature and being on our sleeve, we are bound to run into these kindred spirits — like an intimate dance of raw and authentic personalities.
So, I am more inclined to believe that the mythos of soulmates isn’t entirely baseless. A vulnerable yet intimate bond that forms between the flock of kindred spirits, often very personal. The sharing of joys like it’s your own, understanding their sadness like you went through it, reveling in their shared happiness like you cultivated it, are all the pieces of a puzzle that fit into the picture of a bearable life. People keep company, have an immense impact on each other — you yourself might be such a person that has such an influence over others without realizing yourself. Or you might just be someone who is impacted by your special person, and no matter how small or trivial things might seem to you, just remember we are all part of a whole picture, only ever looking through a small window of our own, unable to grasp the true representation of the jigsaw that we all fit into. But it is definitely worth it, to stop by and check out — fully take it in for the moment as it presents to us, for we might find something worth hanging onto.